About Rebecca.......

They say first impressions leave lasting impressions, well once again it was love at first sight.  For the past six months I've had nothing at all but two pictures of my little girl and now I was holding her in my arms and within minutes I was in love again.  I hugged and kissed her over and over.  I know we've been told and I've read that we have to avoid smothering the child as we are strangers to her and we must not overwhelm them in the transition.  Well, once again, I heard about it and read a million pieces of advice about it......but my heart took over and wanted to let her know I'm your Mommy, We are your Family and you have been and will be loved forever.

I was holding a very small little girl who at 13 months was so light in weight with big beautiful eyes that darted all around her surroundings, an obvious sign that everything around her was new to her.....and that she was very scared.  She kept grabbing everything she could with a death-grip as if to hold on for her dear life.  My heart was crushed to see how thin she was and how wobbly and long she was.  After reading about institutionalized children who have little to no stimulation or human contact in comparison to fostered children, I had expected to see a small child.  But there is a difference between expecting and thinking about it and actually holding her and realizing that I could literally put my hands right around her waist.  That bit of reality-check was not just hard to fathom but also heartbreaking; not to mention the fact that the 12 month old clothes I had bought and brought are far too big and do not fit her at all.

I immediately found myself doing what I have said to my Mom at least a million times while we were growing up.....do not compare bananas to oranges; my sister was the banana and I was the orange, of course.  Well, here I was already doing a comparison of my two girls; Bethany is my orange and  Rebecca my banana.  Bethany was a rolly-polly bundle of rambunctious joy and Rebecca is the total opposite.  Bethany  had been in foster care for four months so she had the luxury of being held, caressed, fed and undoubtedly hugged and kissed quite allot.  From what our Guide told us, Rebecca has been in the orphanage since she was one day old and because there are so many children and not enough nannies she spent 80% of her days in her crib.  This is why my little Rebecca appears, as Tim describes her, malnourished both physically and developmentally. 

She has four baby teeth, two at the  top and two at the bottom with two more coming out at the bottom.  So she is in the teething stage and drooling allot.  She sucks her thumb quite a bit and as much as it disturbs Tim he also understands it's her way of comforting herself so we do not plan to stop that habit anytime soon.  She has the most delicious cheeks that make you want to squeeze them all the time and she has a frown on her face that in time will go away.  I believe once she has grieved the loss of what she knew was her life and when the realization that we are not going anywhere anytime soon (or ever) has set in, she will lose the frown just as Bethany lost her sad turned down lips after a few months of being home.

She is definitely not your average 13 month old as she is not walking or crawling; however, like Bethany, she appears to have strong legs as she can push herself up and can stand.  There is an obvious delay in her motor skills development because she is not able to pick things up although with a bit of struggle she is learning to pick up baby corn puffs that I had brought for her.  Again, in comparison to Bethany at 10 months old who was able to pick up cheerios and put them directly in her mouth, Rebecca struggles to pick up a corn puff and then does not appear to know to put it in her mouth; but when I hold it in front of her she darts her head forward and opens her mouth to eat it.

In saying all this please understand I am in no way discrediting the care she has received in the orphanage.  I know from other adoptive parent's experience of orphanage visits that the nannies they have met are the most loving and that the children are genuinely happy to see them again upon their visit.  I have nothing but the utmost respect and gratitude for the work they do with so much love and attention to our children while they wait for us to come and take them home.  It is just that no matter how much I read in preparation for our meeting, reality hits home when you see that even by giving all they can there is without a doubt nothing like the undivided love and affection of a mother to a child.  They have done a great job in caring for her and now it is finally my turn to take over and do the job I love the most....to be her Forever Mommy.

With regards to her special need, we were advised she had a mild case of cleft palate and as with everything else we did our research and even goggled images of what we would expect to see with her condition.   It turns out that her condition is mild in comparison to the other cleft lip and palate children from the orphanages but from the little bit Tim was able to see he has told me it is not necessarily a mild case and we need to get her assessed right away as she may require more than one surgical procedure to repair her palate.  Even with this news I am still amazed at how blessed we are.  You see, when we were in the meeting room at the Civil Affairs office the other children adopted that day had obvious special needs that in truth were alarming and heartbreaking to see.  The images of those precious little children will be part of my memory when I think back on our big day.  As Tim and I looked around the room we both observed that Rebecca was the only child in the room who did not cry and did not have any visible special need.  We also felt humbled to be in a room of other families who willingly accepted to adopt the children who will require countless medical treatments for their special needs.  Once again, the Hand of God has brought Rebecca into our lives to make our family complete.

I am writing this entry two days after our Forever Family Day and since then, Tim has been teaching her to walk, we have sat her on the bed and had her reach for items in front of her, Bethany has helped by feeding her infant corn puffs and teaching her how to hold it and put it to her mouth.  So as a family we are instinctively already in action. 

 

This is within hours of being with us and in the room checking out her new crib.  Aside from the socks, this is how we received out little girl....with literally nothing but the clothes, or onesie, on her little back and nothing else.  No favorite little stuffed buddy or even her comforting blanket as it was forgotten at the hotel that morning.  Sadly my baby had nothing to her name or with her as a keepsake for us to pass along to her one day as a memory of the first year of her life.

My first smile on the second day as I was having our very first little one-on-one Mommy-Rebecca talks to introduce myself.  Needless to say this precious little smile turned into her frown when I got this response and could not contain myself.....and then I cried. 

Among many, this is my favorite picture.  This is the second night as I just stared at her, thanking God for bringing her into our lives and realizing this is not a dream.

 

This is my baby on September 11 as we completed our final interview by the Civil Affairs Designate Official and were officially pronounced a Fami-LEE. 

 

 

 

We have allot of care and nurturing to do with our little baby girl and I can't wait to get her home and get her caught up to the development stage of her age group.  There is no doubt we will have a very healthy thriving and loving little girl in our home in no time and I honestly believe she will allow us into her little heart when she slowly realizes that we have been and will be a constant in her life as we have been since the first time we met.